A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
