I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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