didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
