Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
