Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize