i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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