so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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