I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
