This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize