I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
