Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
