you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
