i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I accidentally burped into my bong.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
