I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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