Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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