Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
