Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Welp...herpes.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
