hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
