Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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