I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
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