i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
