She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
