dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
