sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
