one might say we're banned from that church
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
