Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize