dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
