Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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