Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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