Buhtt sex?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You ruined the universe
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
