I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Randomize
