it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
