Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Do you remember whose house we're in?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
