pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
