do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
