3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
