My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
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