i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
