Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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