I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
