he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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