At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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