fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
