Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
third nipple confirmed
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
