I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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