Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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