yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
