And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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