why didn't you poke me back
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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