Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize