Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
