Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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