So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
