if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
