sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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