I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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