Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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